My Life...It's All Good

I tell the doctor what my decision is concerning surgery (which option I will take) tomorrow. We will set up the surgery date (I think) and the count down begins for me to be cancer-free. We are praying that no other areas are affected, so that after surgery this cancer is GONE and no treatment is needed.  I'm hoping that knowing the cancer is out of my body is consolation for the change I will be experiencing. Change in the way I look. Change as a woman. Change as a wife. I know it is worth it and my hubby is in agreement, but it is devastating to think about right now.  My prayer is besides being cancer-free, that this will make our marriage stronger than ever before and that some good will come out of it. Right now, I'm too emotional to see much good, but I want to get there. I've seen good in people, but I can't say I've found a whole lot of good in the situation -- yet.  "...fear not, for I am with you;      be not dismayed, for I am your God...

Hearing a cancer diagnosis is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. When I tell you I have shed more tears the last week and a half than I have in the past year, it is not an exaggeration. I have gone through different stages -- anger, pain, fear, helplessness, and most importantly came relief and then love.  Anger because I had such hopes of it being like every other time I was called back for another mammogram/ultrasound and sent to a surgeon (which became the norm). This time it was different. I would not get the "Oh, it's just a cyst. We will watch it, but there are no indications of anything other than that." Pain because I felt betrayed. I felt like I was being punished for some reason.  Fear because we had to wait to find out how BAD the cancer is. Fear because, well, I have cancer. Fear for what lies ahead... I felt helpless because I had no control. All I could do is wait. I had to wait for appointments. Wait to get results...and because the ...