My Life...It's All Good

Have you ever had a feeling you need to do something? That you need to take that next step? I have felt like I need to venture into the craft show/booth business (in addition to my Etsy shop -  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ElegantFlorals20 ) for several months now.  I don't have a booth or show on the calendar now. I'm still in the pray about it and hope to make the right choices stage. I'm torn between trying to get in some sort of seasonal show for a weekend or trying my hand at a local store that has booths for rent (monthly).  My sister wants to be involved and has artwork for sale. I'm more of a floral decor person, but plan to expand to more decor items (painted small furniture items, word signs, etc.). Now we just need DIVINE guidance about what we need to do and get busy making products.  I'm praying that the Lord will open doors that need to be open and close any doors that are not for us. I'm praying for guidance in this endeavor and that He will fi...

I'm finally working full-time again after surgery. In the time was down for surgery, I did a lot of reflecting. I thought I would share some of these observations. Some of them are pretty obvious and some aren't new to me (or to you), but they are things that have been on my mind.  God is faithful. Not everything has gone according to my plan or my time, but He has been with me every step of the way and carried me through to the other side.  Cancer is not the end of the world. I thought it was when I first received the diagnosis, but I now realize you can hear those words and make it through. I know some people have different results because their cancer is found at a different stage or it's a different type. This is my experience.  The small stuff I used to sweat doesn't have the same impact on me. I know there are bigger things at which to aim my focus and most of the small stuff doesn't rank. That's not to say I don't freak out about stuff, but now ...

I seem to be in a fog lately. I don't know if it's the after surgery fog, the new med fog, or the it's just taking me a while to get back to "normal" fog. I just know my brain is not working like it did before my surgery or at least not as quickly. That's not a good thing.  I'm hoping I will soon feel like my old self, but I don't know if that will ever be the case again. Someone asked me yesterday if I was feeling like normal again. I said, "Whatever normal is...I don't think I know anymore." I don't feel the same, but I don't feel bad. Things are just different.  I guess this is just part of the mental process of dealing with all of this. I don't know if it is being diagnosed with cancer or the aftermath of that diagnosis. I'm just tired of feeling different. I'm tired of being the focus of attention. I want things to be normal...whatever that is. "Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continu...

This picture pretty well sums it up for me. I don't think I feel as good as she does at the moment, though, but I'm getting better every day.  Thankfully, after 2 biopsies, 2 surgeries, countless doctors appointments, I can say I am free of this cancer. All margins and 18 lymph nodes were clear. This has been the hardest experiences of my life. The roller coaster of emotions alone are enough to make you crazy! Every step of the way, you are waiting for another test result or waiting for a pathology report...it's not for sissies! All I can say is you must learn to be patient and try not to lose it while you are waiting to hear. I know it is easier said than done, but you must. There is nothing, I mean nothing to be gained from getting over anxious. It doesn't help and in some cases it makes it worse. All I could do was pray about it and leave it in God's hands. That's all any of us can do in this situation really.  While I still have a long road ...

I tell the doctor what my decision is concerning surgery (which option I will take) tomorrow. We will set up the surgery date (I think) and the count down begins for me to be cancer-free. We are praying that no other areas are affected, so that after surgery this cancer is GONE and no treatment is needed.  I'm hoping that knowing the cancer is out of my body is consolation for the change I will be experiencing. Change in the way I look. Change as a woman. Change as a wife. I know it is worth it and my hubby is in agreement, but it is devastating to think about right now.  My prayer is besides being cancer-free, that this will make our marriage stronger than ever before and that some good will come out of it. Right now, I'm too emotional to see much good, but I want to get there. I've seen good in people, but I can't say I've found a whole lot of good in the situation -- yet.  "...fear not, for I am with you;      be not dismayed, for I am your God...

Hearing a cancer diagnosis is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. When I tell you I have shed more tears the last week and a half than I have in the past year, it is not an exaggeration. I have gone through different stages -- anger, pain, fear, helplessness, and most importantly came relief and then love.  Anger because I had such hopes of it being like every other time I was called back for another mammogram/ultrasound and sent to a surgeon (which became the norm). This time it was different. I would not get the "Oh, it's just a cyst. We will watch it, but there are no indications of anything other than that." Pain because I felt betrayed. I felt like I was being punished for some reason.  Fear because we had to wait to find out how BAD the cancer is. Fear because, well, I have cancer. Fear for what lies ahead... I felt helpless because I had no control. All I could do is wait. I had to wait for appointments. Wait to get results...and because the ...